Do you ever feel like you are being selfish? Lately I have. I feel like it's all about me and poor Carl doesn't have a chance. Like he would be happy for me to be home now and for us trying to get pregnant. Instead I love my job and the travel and don't want to get pregnant within the next 2 years. I really don't want to quit my job either. I would love to continue what I'm doing but I'm sure that will change once I have kids. The problem is that I'm getting older and the longer that I wait to have kids the more problems that can happen. I also want several kids so, ugh! It's just so hard to decide what to do and to wonder if it will make me happy.
I guess this all comes from... I found a job listed on craigslist that I could apply for... the salary is right, it's close to home and it's exactly what I would like for a job once I come off the road. BUT I am torn. Yes, a part of me would love to come home to have kids but the other part feels that I'm not ready and that I would love to have some more time with my husband and traveling... there are so many other things I want to do before having kids. I guess I just don't know where the line stops! I told Carl 2010. That's only 1.5 yrs away, I know that's not a big deal but I know that he's going to hold me to it. So the thoughts keep coming.
2 comments:
I don't think you are being selfish at all. Even if I got married tomorrow, there wouldn't be kids for another 4-5 years...there is still so much I want to do and see before I settle into that new life, and you should do everything you can before you make that next big step!
Char - you've got time left! I know when you start thinking about age it gets a little scarey but you really are still young! I know you're not older then me so I can say that for sure :D
Its never the "right" time to have kids. Pretty much anyone will tell you the same thing. Something will always make you second guess and question if its the right time. So definitely be aware of that but from what I'm reading, it doesn't sound like you're ready.
You've got so many ducks lined up -a wonderful husband, a great house, secure finances. Let yourself get this one last duck in the row.
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