Do you ever feel like you are being selfish? Lately I have. I feel like it's all about me and poor Carl doesn't have a chance. Like he would be happy for me to be home now and for us trying to get pregnant. Instead I love my job and the travel and don't want to get pregnant within the next 2 years. I really don't want to quit my job either. I would love to continue what I'm doing but I'm sure that will change once I have kids. The problem is that I'm getting older and the longer that I wait to have kids the more problems that can happen. I also want several kids so, ugh! It's just so hard to decide what to do and to wonder if it will make me happy.
I guess this all comes from... I found a job listed on craigslist that I could apply for... the salary is right, it's close to home and it's exactly what I would like for a job once I come off the road. BUT I am torn. Yes, a part of me would love to come home to have kids but the other part feels that I'm not ready and that I would love to have some more time with my husband and traveling... there are so many other things I want to do before having kids. I guess I just don't know where the line stops! I told Carl 2010. That's only 1.5 yrs away, I know that's not a big deal but I know that he's going to hold me to it. So the thoughts keep coming.
